EXQUISITE FREAKING CORPSE

Once upon a there was a place where all people and animals lived in harmony.  All food was left ripe for the pickings and much in abundance up in the aged trees. Everyone seemed happy but with happiness came sacrifice.  The animals. 

The animals were left behind with a neighbor.  The animals were not allowed in the new place we were going to live.  The family was off to start their new life which they mostly looked forward to but the new journey would begin without their beloved pets. 

How could they abandon them, they had been together with the creatures since they both were babies each depending on the other for some kind of companionship. Getting each other through the roughest of patches and the happiest of celebration.

But what would happen next? Someone had to be the adult. Someone had to grow up. Someone had to be needed while the other did the needing. It wouldn’t work any other way. It wouldn’t last any other way. He would do it, He would grow up and be the man that she needs and he won’t resent her for it. He promised himself that much. Promises were meant to be kept but they are sometimes broken in desperate times. Could he be held responsible for what had happened or feeling some sense of despair? I don’t what to do, I don’t know what to do. Lord if you can hear me please help. “God here, what can I do for you?” “God? Is it really you?” “No, I’m the fucking little man in your head. Of course, it’s God, you idiot. Now whadya want?” “Oh sorry, God, I’m just so depressed and thought that I might turn to you in my time of—“ “Wait a fucking second. You’re down in the dumps? That’s why you’re so crazy. She said please do not said that to me.
“You are crazy” I repeated. “You belong in a psychiatric unit.” How could one individual be so psychologically unstable and be able to walk the streets. However she found out that he was on medication and was taking the as prescribed that however didn’t take away her discomfort she still wanted to seek revenge for this crazy man whom was capable of doing more harm than good. The next day she decide to make sure he never waked the wise decision. She has to leave her boyfriend. She does not have to hesitate any moment. She has to look forward more higher her gal. he has cheated on her so many times before and this time she just couldn’t keep up with it, the first major reason why she now wanted to break up with him was to show him that she wasn’t dependent by him. So when she walked into the office, the first thing she did was sit on his desk and wait for him. She watched him smile and walk in her direction and triumph coursed through her veins as he approached. He leaned down to kiss her and she stopped him, its over, she murmured against his ear, I don’t need you, and I’m not even certain I want you anymore.  He stared and she waltzed away hips swaying to some tempo only she could keep. It was a rather calm few days, until deliveries of flowers and wine and apology notes filled her house. On day three he stopped at a diner and cried on his knees. And she had had enough.  So of course, they were still together, they figured this time they’d get a dog. That always brought people closer together, right?

Alicia Magana

Fruitful Constraints

One upon the time there was a little boy who wants to find out how to reach a star .one day he wake up early morning to  look at the sky .he saw the sky cover of shine stars and he said of then one day is going to be my. He send a balloon to touch the sky and he got sad because the balloon do not fly that far. He said to himself I am to try tomorrow morning something else. He when to the library to find out books of how to find an object that will make his dream come true.  When he went to do his research he found this most very rare but most beautiful watch. However, this wasn’t your ordinary watch. All it said in the book was that this watch was very rare but yet very powerful. He couldn’t and he wouldn’t stop until he found this very rare and powerful watch. He than began researching where you could find this most rare and powerful watch. The book was very vague, but it said you could find it down south. When they went to find the book they realized that they were on an adventure and decided to record it. While filming their journey they realized that they have found the place what they want to see before they came here. They did not know how closed is that location. It is very small world. We always look for very fun places to travel to but in this case we found the one place we really wanted to travel to. Suddenly when we got there we were reserved in a hotel. Cockroaches were the first thing in sight , fucking cockroaches. I bet you there was a bed bug or two mixed in, that’s okay, that’s cool ill just sleep in the car and be a beach bumb. There’s no way I could smell that bad if I rinse my pits in the ocean water. The salt would sterilize my stink or something, right? Whatever it doesn’t matter I’m about ninety-nine percent sure that I could find some sappy old man desperate for some kind of company with a clean enough house willing to take me in. Tell him I like my flowers edible.  My pillows as fluffed as towels and margaritas as sweet as stealing fake jewelry.

I deserved to be pampered and I definitely needed a break from the monotony of my reality.  A vacation!!!  That’s what I need a vacation.  Maybe I will book a cruise.  I will take a Caribbean cruise.  I’ve always wanted to go. The bahahmas. Cozumel. Those commericials make those places seem like true paradise and even if it is only for a day and island, paradise doesn’t seem like the worst place to spend considering my circumstances. Now all I had to do was figure out how to get the money…. I could always sell my blood… maybe a kidney. Even my sister if she had a price. I never liked her much anyway and seriously, I needed that money. Maybe I’d sell dope on the streets like my old man did. That didn’t get him much but a home in a coffin six feet under. I was better than that. I had to figure out another way. Although I know id be better than him if I tried it. I was always better than my old man. Even though he’d never admit it, he knew deep down that I was destined for greatness and as long as he was on my side he would benefit from it. I knew dealing drugs was dangerous but I had the perfect plan and the perfect people to take the game over SON!. Once I get ki ki and Da-wanda on the  cellie I got this hold thing on lock. You see all you got to do is listen to “Ten Crack Commandments” for my homie Biggie> First you got remember never get high on your own supply or was only get high on your own supply. Whichever, it don’t matter when you got the playbook in hand. Next step gots to to get the bulldogs on to the house son or my wifey gonna pitch a fit you feel me. As that was going on, both of my homies were outside arguing about who’s a better baller Michael or Lebron? Word, beeyotch, know what I mean and other vernacular of the urban variety. This, of course, is scoped by many in the media and elsewhere as racially coded, but let me assure you, this is a clean and tolerant and fully diverse story welcoming all and sundry. Please, come in, sit down, make yourself at home. 

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time there was a cat. He was a sickly sort of cat. He didn’t really eat much, mostly just drank water and picked his teeth. He was the kind of guy who would sleep six hours, get up for about thirty minutes and then sleep for another three hours, roll over and go back to sleep again. He lived downstairs from an eagle. Damn, that eagle was industrious. He was up at the crack of dawn, flying through the skies, killing rats and squirrels and sometimes even cats. For some reason he never tried to kill the downstairs cat, maybe because the cat was so skinny or maybe simply because he got used to him. The black cat got sick because the owner used to give to him dead birds. One night the black cat escaped because he hate his owner. However little did the owner know that the black cat would be back. This wasn’t just an ordinary black cat, but this was a black cat with a very special mind. The black cat knew that the owner would regret this.  The cat started to use his powers and started to torture the owned he would have things levitate in the house and have doors open and close, the owner thought there was a ghost in the house and was terrified he started to lose his mind and became paranoid and crazy. The cat found all this to be revenge of the owners bad treatment towards him, one day the cat decided to make things.  I think cat is very smart. And the owner did not know that. One night the owner was sleeping when the cat decided to stay awake all night and just watch him sleep. The cat felt like going outside but not like this so he decided to take off his suit. When he did, he stood about 6 feet tall. He quickly ran to his apartment and got his car keys and his ID. He felt like going to the movies alone. He found that very therapeutic. He was glad that he was a cat in the day and a man at night.  But the life of a man was proving to be exhausting.  He found himself wondering about money about a possible mate a woman? Maybe not.  A dog was in his future but not the kind you and I are accustomed to. The type with the swinging tail and tongue the falls out when it is not tired at all.  That is the type of dog I speak of.  i am in need of pepper with no salt.

He was energetic and loving.  My new best friend.  I only wish he could talk so I could not be talking to him all day with the same facial expression on his face no matter what I say. I  mean if I keep talking to him and somebody sees, does that make me crazy? Or imaginative? Which one seems more positive? Maybe I should ask him? Then again all I’ll get is that same blank expression and we’ll be right back at square one. I need more friends. Maybe one of the girlfriend variety. Girls like blank faces, right? Especially cuddly ones that can cover you in slobber from zero to sixty in no time flat. I needed one of those. One who was appreciative and grateful and knew how to love someone. Care for someone or something. I just wanted love and the more I thought of it the more I realized how pathetic I was. No one would want me. They just want the little ones. We’re all cute and cuddly when we’re tiny and fresh, but now that years have passed and I am just two years old, I look like a monster compared to them. The little one  with a spot on his eye came to me, his name was Rex. He was always a joyful pup who was always there to cheer me up.

“Whats wrong?” he asked

“Oh nothing”. Deep down I felt my heart break into little piece, I didn’t want him to see me like this, I didn’t want him to think I hated him for being the one thing in my life that made sense and now for leaving me. I should have known though, he was never that in to me. I used to have to do that thing he liked just to get a smile out of him. Now it seems my magical touch is losing power. Should I try something like say a kind word or make a big meal to feed his hunger? Well I need to try something to get his attention. Wait I got it how about a romantic getaway? I wondered. First I need to book everything and then surprise him when he comes home. How should I tell him in a sweet innocent way or a direct firm way I hope he likes it or it’s over between us.

Once upon a time, David and Soo wanted to have a baby. After they married they waited their won baby

about five years. Finally they have their own baby. Her name is sage. They did not know how much hard

to bringing up the baby. They need somebody’s help. They  are looking for someone who already knows how to take care of infants, like maybe a babysitter, but that became difficult for them since they were on vacation and no one near them spoke their language. They had to stay here for one whole month so they had no other choice but to watch youtube videos and see how other parents take care of their own children.  They had thought, watching you tube videos would prepare them for the coming of their first child. Oh, how they were wrong. Nothing could prepare them for the vomit the wailing the crying, their faces screamed make it stop.  Suddenly a pepto-bismol commercial appeared on the tellie.  It to my dismay interrupted the white fool of a president they call Bushe.  Vomit suddenly being cleaned with the power of pine-sol could finally allow my stomach to find it appetite.

As I regained my composure, I felt as if somebody was watching me from a distance.  I could see that there was a shadow of a large person watching me. I couldn’t believe someone was doing this to me? Why me? Why follow me? I had nothing of interest? Not enough money to seem attractive? And my body type couldn’t be someone’s preference? Unless the person following me didn’t care. Oh god what if they didn’t care? I start to panic more. To sweat more. How should I handle being pursued? Do I confront them first? Do I cower? Do I run? Do I faint? I don’t know. Fear has overtaken my sense of right and my fight or flight response has seemingly disappeared. I fainted. Felt my legs buckle and the next thing I noticed was the strong smell of rubbing alcohol held up to my nose in a sock that was drenched with it. “Wha.. What?”… I woke up tied to a bed, my clothes removed, I had a blind fold on but there was a slight visibility through the blind fold, but it was no use everything was dark. I can’t remember how I got here, its to fuzzy to remember the exact specifics of the night. First there was James then Bobby, Lavern and Stacy. Or was it Jim, Too many Guinness and jack Daniels made my mind wonder and 

Exquisite Corpse

It’s funny how sunsets have always been portrayed as red and gold. Very few enjoy the orange and pink. Personally I enjoyed that rapidly disappearing pink and lavender the rich blue and even richer purple. You know the twilight before night has truly crept in.  It was always beautiful, I watched it from my room every day for fifteen years. I watched it while my parents watched tv. I even watched it as the house burned down behind me. It added to anticipation of night. I enjoyed the calm before any storm; even if the only storm was night.  When the house burned down I hadn’t been too concerned. Material things never really mattered to me I still had twilight. It wasn’t until the fire was out and I was being ushered into a police car that I realized my parents had been inside and that they hadn’t come out.  But then in the midst of the smoke a shadow much bigger than a human could slightly be eyed.  It was my parents of course they lived.  I wiped my tears and awaited for them to come towards me, but then I heard someone crying.  It was something when I looked.

I looked back and that’s when I notice the blood.  It was as if a body had exploded. 

The crimson around me was as if I was playing with the paint bucket tool on my computer. Was this what bulls saw when they were at their angriest? All I know is that after the sight of the red hit me, the smell followed. Bodily fluids of all kinds began to expose and mix. To congeal. The smell of sulfur and feces making me dizzier than I ever expected. I can’t help but cough and stumble at the same time. But somehow my feet stay in place. The sight in my eyes has frozen me.

She undressed herself and I couldn’t do a thing. I couldn’t move a muscle. Except for the throbbing in between my legs. What a sight. I caught myself almost drool and I straightened up. I had to think of something. What was I going to do with this body that stood before me in its glory. All flesh, I slowly moved my hands from his chest down towards his penis. I looked up at him kissing his neck leading up to his ear turning his eyes . Just close enough to get his attention to notice my sweet touch. His heart and my heart were linked at that moment. Our souls were destined to be together like our previous selves. Nothing from this world or the next can stop us from reaching our fruition. We will crystalize in our true essences and join the great hereafter and so on and so forth. Know what I mean?

                Um, no, I would have to say that I do not know what you mean.

                Well we should have sex. Fornication. Maybe a little oral. Spanking too, if that’s your think. I draw the line at poop.

                Yabba-dabba-doo!

                Now you’re talking, big boy!

                Come on and give it to me, baby!  He said one more time ‘’give to me now’’. Maria said no why I have to give to you is not good. He started to get mad, and when he gets mad he starts to get violent. I wouldn’t hand it over to him. He grabbed my wrist. He was extremely strong, my arms were very petite. Just by him grabbing my wrist he could’ve broken it, causing another incident like last time. The last time, I ended up in the emergency room. We were having a disagreement like most couples do and well things started to get out of hand and he got physical. I don’t quite remember what the argument was about but I do remember one thing. He had beaten me so badly that I could barely open my mouth to even eat or talk. I looked at him and tried to open my mouth to ask him why he would hurt me this way but he just turned to me and said get out of my sight you look horrible. I wanted to call the police however I loved him and didn’t want any trouble I just curled up in bed and hoped things would get better if it didn’t I would just have to kill him. Please do not kill him. If you do that job. You are going to jail. You better to find out another way instead. Maybe you could hook up someone into doing it. Maybe he can be killed but not just by you. If someone else does it for you, it’s definitely not your responsibility. But will the guilt remain? That’s something that will have to take time into thinking to. Maybe it’s best that he stay alive for your own safe consciousness. But the anger still remained. Killing cannot be the answer then. You have to come up with a more clever idea. Like maybe making his life miserable? If only you could remember what he has done to cause you to feel this way towards him.  You should go out for a walk and take a deep breath. Don’t think it twice. Just go. What you should give thought to is the malicious plan you were trying to do to him. Because at the end regardless of the harm he did to you, you’re the one who will end up losing if you choose to kill him. 

Class Story

They did not live happily ever after, at least not together.  They each tried in their own way.  Day after day night after night.  They would make feeble attempts to save their marriage.  Not necessarily taking turns, but continuous efforts by both of them using their particular “skill sets” to enhance, entertain, feed or simply enjoy each other’s company. 

            Fancy meals were cooked.  Love notes were left in order to guide each other into a better mood with more positive outlooks on how the day would go. 

Their attempts just seemed to be wastes of air, time and space. Despite how they each felt, their hatred for one another beat out every positive emotion there could possibly be. Some happily ever this was supposed to be. But how could one escape such a fate, such a loveless circumstance without being the monster to the other. The fake smiling and laughing at each other could only last so long before they both snapped. Lucy would snap first. She had daydreamed about it countless times. Would she drive a knife through his heart? Or would she drive the knife through his rectum so he could feel the unending pain she once felt? She went to the kitchen bumping into every furniture on the way there, she felt his breathe just behind her so close it could snatch her life away. Run! Run! RUN! Is all she heard in her head, picturing herself as the jockey to her own body. Whipping her legs to just move in inch per minute faster to get away from the unknown attacker. Her heart racing with each moment and her thoughts moving like wind to think how to shake off this attacker. Wait, she finally realized she had pepper spray in her duffel bag. As the attacker came closer and closer the woman said “Hey, I have something for you.” The attacker, “Oh, I know you do, raising his knife in one hand, the gun in the other.” “Oh, right, you probably want my purse.” She handed it over and as he rummaged through it for bills of various denominations, she asked, shyly, “Don’t you want to know what I have for you?” “Huh? Oh right, yeah, what do you have for me?” (He might have said “duh”). I have a nice surprised waiting for you in the car go and get it. She reply why you do not “bring it to me here’’. I want you to go and get it for yourself. She opened up the car door and he pushed her from behind, violently. She fell into the car hitting her head on the steering wheel. She had hit her head so hard that she got knocked unconscious.  When she woke up she was in what looked to be an abandoned house there were no furniture and the wood floor was badly damaged. She got up and wiped her mouth only to feel it swollen and bloody. Immediate fear went through her body she go to her feet and ran to the door only to the door you can see before you escape here. Hurry up we don’t have enough time. Everybody follow me and we’ll run down to that tunnel. These creatures can appear in any moment. I also heard they’re increasing in size. Bigger than us humans. The children were fearing the worst, but we tried to stay as calm as possible to make sure that they would go screaming like maniacs. We hear the creatures sniffing. They probably sensed us already. We ran deeper into the cave as we could. Luckily they passed by so we were in the safe zone for now. Who knows if this is just a trick for them to wait for us to come out and snap, our heads get bitten off? Well, we had no choice, we had to go out sometime. Might as well go now. So we ran outside and they attacked, it was like some twisted rendition of the avatar. They were clearly the fire nation. We were not going to make it out of here alive. To my left some guy was smashing in his head with a baseball bat, to my right someone was literally smashing a baseball bat if you can catch my drift. Did that slide right by you? Did you get spilt between the two worlds? Okay, enough with my striking baseball jokes.  Some things you can let go dont’cha know.  Me brudda is from is half Jamaican half dragon tamer and you will respect the art brudda.  Now back to this fire bender you speak of.  Hes bald right? About 4ft tall and fights like the mightiest of hockey players.  His name is Bilbo baggins goes by the alias “LeprechaunY0M@amma69”.  If we don’t stop him he will find the gingerbread man. Oh look its bill cosby.

Group Writing

Once upon a time the lived a hobbit which lived in a humble hotel. You might want to ask why a hobbit would own a hotel ,well for the hobbits that are taking vacation from FAR FAR away which goes without saying is quite a trip. This particular hobbit’s name was henry, Henry the hobbit and a good natured hobbit with a very special problem. You see when henry the hobbit was pushed to the limit of his patience his demeanor would change. Happy humble Henry the hobbit would change into a tall fearsome warrior.  Could kill a man with a glance of his eyes.  Henry decided used his new found transformation and help his village. Years went by without seeing his home or loved ones. But when he returned to the village they were shocked with how erotic and manly he had become. Both girls and boys flirted with him. Wives toyed with leaving husbands and husbands asked him to go out for beers or to wrestle. But he didn’t have time for these silly games. Instead he had come back to fight the monster. He said no times for jokes. I am going to put an end to all this crazy things. I am sick and tired of all this bull shit. He took his car and leave the house. He left the house with an unknown destination. He didn’t know where he was going to go, but he knew he wanted to be anywhere but there. He started up the road. The road was unlike any other road he had seen though. It was extremely dark, no lights, no people. Just road and forest. He started second guessing that maybe he should go back, maybe he was wrong. However he decided to continue on his journey and make it an adventure to him what’s the worst that could happen driving through the forest. After driving for another hour he noticed a small cottage in the woods with smoke coming from the chimney and a light through the window. He thought to himself he should drive by or keep driving. After his car accident, he is very afraid to drive car. But car is same as shoe. The car is the same as shoe because once one learns how to tie their shoes, they are able to learn how to drive a car also. It’s like picturing learning how to drive a car first and then to tie your shoes. It’s practically the same thing. It can go in any order.  But since he did not know how to tie his shoe, he would drive a car. He waited until his other was asleep to sneak downstairs and pull her car keys off the stand. He had hid a phone book in the bushes earlier so he could minimize the amount of sound he made. He ran out lugging the phone book into the front seat climbed in and started the car. He tried repeatedly to start it but it just stuttered and all I could think of was timmy.  The horse on the other side of the house was my only escape.  Off went me and max to house where no one lived.  Horses were ruled by the almighty and he would not let me suffer too much longer.  I had to get out of here.

                I finally got the engine to start and the sound startled the horses off in the distance.  I had to honor Timmy. After a few more revs, I popped the ol girl into drive and sped off into the sunset, I wanted to chase it to the ends of the earth. For Timmy, it was all  I could. Drive until the gas was at it’s very emptiest. Not caring about the law, not caring about my own safety. I just had to drive. Drive as fast I could. As fast as the engine and wheels could take me. Hands gripped so tight against the wheel they couldn’t be pried off by any means. There was silence in the air. It felt like everything had stopped. There was no sound, no gravity and everything moved slowly. I was flying. Or at least is felt like that for a moment. I thought about Gracie and our life together, it was a tough time, but they were filled with the most beautiful memories. I felt the air getting thin, I couldn’t breathe but I enjoyed my last moments alive with absent panic, floating in the mid sky, stars all around me I could just imagine how my next life would be. Or would I even have one? I didn’t care much to think more of it, for I would find out soon enough. Suddenly I felt light, I could see my body right in front of me, and suddenly it disappeared. I tried to look at what was holding me up but there was no me, there were no arms or legs or face. I felt nothing. Out from a distance I saw a white light, My what a beautiful view I have.