Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time there was a cat. He was a sickly sort of cat. He didn’t really eat much, mostly just drank water and picked his teeth. He was the kind of guy who would sleep six hours, get up for about thirty minutes and then sleep for another three hours, roll over and go back to sleep again. He lived downstairs from an eagle. Damn, that eagle was industrious. He was up at the crack of dawn, flying through the skies, killing rats and squirrels and sometimes even cats. For some reason he never tried to kill the downstairs cat, maybe because the cat was so skinny or maybe simply because he got used to him. The black cat got sick because the owner used to give to him dead birds. One night the black cat escaped because he hate his owner. However little did the owner know that the black cat would be back. This wasn’t just an ordinary black cat, but this was a black cat with a very special mind. The black cat knew that the owner would regret this.  The cat started to use his powers and started to torture the owned he would have things levitate in the house and have doors open and close, the owner thought there was a ghost in the house and was terrified he started to lose his mind and became paranoid and crazy. The cat found all this to be revenge of the owners bad treatment towards him, one day the cat decided to make things.  I think cat is very smart. And the owner did not know that. One night the owner was sleeping when the cat decided to stay awake all night and just watch him sleep. The cat felt like going outside but not like this so he decided to take off his suit. When he did, he stood about 6 feet tall. He quickly ran to his apartment and got his car keys and his ID. He felt like going to the movies alone. He found that very therapeutic. He was glad that he was a cat in the day and a man at night.  But the life of a man was proving to be exhausting.  He found himself wondering about money about a possible mate a woman? Maybe not.  A dog was in his future but not the kind you and I are accustomed to. The type with the swinging tail and tongue the falls out when it is not tired at all.  That is the type of dog I speak of.  i am in need of pepper with no salt.

He was energetic and loving.  My new best friend.  I only wish he could talk so I could not be talking to him all day with the same facial expression on his face no matter what I say. I  mean if I keep talking to him and somebody sees, does that make me crazy? Or imaginative? Which one seems more positive? Maybe I should ask him? Then again all I’ll get is that same blank expression and we’ll be right back at square one. I need more friends. Maybe one of the girlfriend variety. Girls like blank faces, right? Especially cuddly ones that can cover you in slobber from zero to sixty in no time flat. I needed one of those. One who was appreciative and grateful and knew how to love someone. Care for someone or something. I just wanted love and the more I thought of it the more I realized how pathetic I was. No one would want me. They just want the little ones. We’re all cute and cuddly when we’re tiny and fresh, but now that years have passed and I am just two years old, I look like a monster compared to them. The little one  with a spot on his eye came to me, his name was Rex. He was always a joyful pup who was always there to cheer me up.

“Whats wrong?” he asked

“Oh nothing”. Deep down I felt my heart break into little piece, I didn’t want him to see me like this, I didn’t want him to think I hated him for being the one thing in my life that made sense and now for leaving me. I should have known though, he was never that in to me. I used to have to do that thing he liked just to get a smile out of him. Now it seems my magical touch is losing power. Should I try something like say a kind word or make a big meal to feed his hunger? Well I need to try something to get his attention. Wait I got it how about a romantic getaway? I wondered. First I need to book everything and then surprise him when he comes home. How should I tell him in a sweet innocent way or a direct firm way I hope he likes it or it’s over between us.