Reaction to You'll Apologize If You Have To

When I was first reading this story I had two things in mind. The first thing was that I thought I wasn't going to enjoy this reading at all since it has to do with fighting and I'm not a fan of those things at all. No offense but they bore me. And the second thing I thought; this obviously has nothing to do with the title. I thought this story was going to be about how the narrator overcomes a battle he lost by deciding to fight this guy one more time and actually beat him, but the story did a turn to his personal life instead. I liked how his days of break were described. It made me feel like I was physically there too. I too felt bored and wanting to get away from the gym field just like he wanted to also. And I get where the title came from when he told himself that he needed to apologize. I think something deep down told him that he can be a good person too despite how annoyed he gets. I found it funny about the little drunk lady. And even though the young husband arrived back home I really liked how in the ending the narrator just didn't care and he felt relaxed in the moment with the old lady by the natural smell of the ocean and the wind after what was bothering him has came all out of his mouth to be all heard by this lady.

Creative Writing Club Event

Hi all:

There is a Creative Writing event/meeting at Oakland Lake (walking distance to campus) next Wed. If you're interested, check out the PDF that I sent to your tigermail account. This event can count as your Public Fiction Project.

best,

jt

The Big Cat

The big cat was an interesting story the ending was surprising I thought he would be happy after reconnecting with his ex-wife however he feels as if he made some form of mistake. He sees in a way that his wife resents him or hates him in a way and now he’s stuck, I would like to know how he acted on this feeling, however the conclusion leaves me wondering. Also I feel as if he loves Elida more than she loves him and Laurene loved him more than he loved her so he’s not going to be satisfied in either marriage because he’s not content.

Public Fiction Project (Repost)

Public Fiction Project

Hey all:

To meet this requirement, you can go to a fiction reading. Here are some listings:

http://www.bookforum.com/events/

And check out the Center for Fiction in Midtown:

http://www.centerforfiction.org/

They have frequent readings and even a literary magazine that you can submit to.

If you'd rather submit your fiction to a publication, I'd suggest Newpages.com:

http://www.newpages.com/magazines/literary-magazines

or Poets &Writers:

http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines

Nowadays, many mags will allow you to submit your stories via the internet. We'll talk more about submitting your fiction, and I'd be happy to speak one-on-one w/ you about this too.

Moving On & The Big Cat

For this week's exercise with the short stories, we're exploring the reasons for the conclusions. The first story "Moving On" wrapped up it's story by telling us that the narrator hasn't fully moved on from her husband's death, but has accepted to attempt to do so and married her second husband. It was successful because in our reality, when you truly loved someone and that person unfortunately had passed away, you mentally will never feel that they are gone. You are consistently reminded of their existence by every sense in your body. But you know deep down that they're gone and you have to settle with this reason, so that you are forced to move on and forget about this person. This conclusion is so relate-able because it gives an opportunity for it's readers to understand how to deal with grief in such sense. I felt that the purpose of the "window friend" in the story was to tell us that it is possible for someone to move passed grief. That you can feel emotions with someone else because we are emotional creatures that do act a lot by their feelings. The dead husband, I believed is a symbolism of showing that if hold on to something that is gone, we can never move on with our lives and be happy for what is. These are supporting characters that help show growth for the main character. 

T.C. Boyle makes it known in his foreword that majority of the reasons why he has selected these stories to be the best american short stories of 2015 is because a lot of the major characters in these stories are deem' likable or not kind of characters that the readers are able to understand them. The character's in this short story can be believed to be a real person with real emotions that we all have felt before. 

Also with the Big Cat story, this story is also relate-able and has a common core connection with it's readers because we live in a society that divorce happens within a family and sometimes there is an unreasonable distraction that you end up back together because of unresolved feelings or having this comfortably to want to go back into something. I feel that the conclusion made sense of what happens after a marriage ends, then comes back after being cordial for years and what happens when feelings resurfaces as to something new. Nothing ever lasts, things just comes back around and maybe into something more.  Valery and Laurene are both supporting characters to this story for the narrator to figure out what he wants from his life. Or what he felt that he had lost and gained throughout the span of his life. 

After the last words of both these stories, I feel that the conclusion is successful because you are able to assume if the characters are genuinely happy or sad over the course of their actions. In "Moving On" the widow gives insight of her feelings towards her new marriage with a man that is seemingly charming and good. While in The Big Cat, the husband is expressing his new found appreciation of his wife for showing him something he hadn't known before. Both stories give room for us readers to question to ask if they're happy or sad for the choices they have made.  

What purpose do Valery or Laurene or window friend serve

Valery in the big cat was the theoretical glue that kept her parents tied together. she was the reason they kept seeing each other once a month, if it wasn't for her her parents would have hardly if at all seen each other and would have moved on and gotten over each other. Laurene purpose to me was to be able to have a comparison to Elida, i say this because she is the total opposite to to elida rich-poor, vegetarian-meat lover, blonde-brunette, snores-quiet sleeper. everything with the two women is a comparison its almost like he got to see what life is like without the snoring to see if it would make him happier. although it did in the beginning it brings him back to Elida whom to him captured his heart. 
The window friend was a way for her to live like her husband was still alive, she saw her husband in this man it was her way of not erasing her husband.

Moving on and The big Cat

After reading "Moving on" and "The Big Cat" I think that these stories were very successful in wrapping it up in there conclusions. I think that this story was successful because they answered any left over questions that the reader had since the beginning of the story. As the reader I can still imagine the characters even after reading the last line of each short story. During the conclusion I think that its most important that the author answers any questions that they had about the characters since the beginning of the story.
I think that Valery and Laurene serve as the people who kept there parents together. I think that if it wasn't for Valery and Laurene, her parents wouldn't have stayed together.

Alicia Magana




Moving on and the big Cat

I think that both stories involve in the conclusion the problems about lonelinss of the two characters .
The moving on represents at the end the final resolution that she has to take to take control of her destiny. The big cat also after the divorce needs someone.

Conclusions from "The Big Cat" and "Moving On"

I think on the story of "Moving On" showed that the narrator did not move on at all. She was placed on the shelter for a reason and that was to move on after her husband's death. She tried to fool herself that she did move on after telling herself how she will be talking to her new husband and by how she will describe him. Somehow she still ended up giving hints about what she wished she could have done with her husband to the new husband that she has now. So instead of moving on from this issue that has been create upon her, she's stuck with it until who knows. I think she will always have this problem because she has no one really to talk it out with.

In "The Big Cat" story, there was one slight problem in the narrator's relationship and that was that his wife snored too loud. He always believed that the divorce had to happen because of other issues but deep inside it could have been his wife's snores that leaded to the divorce. The narrator was trying to escape the this problem by having more piece and quite at night and then eventually marrying someone new. But that brought more conflicts when he had to still meet up with his ex wife which made it unbearably hard to ignore the love he still had for her. He broke a second women's heart, and got back together with his ex wife to hear her snore very loud every night again. So the problems of this story was never solved. It was only avoided temporarily.

Moving on and the big cat

"Moving on" had an interesting ending, where she is finally chosen by a guy. I dont feel like she is fully happy but i do think she will learn to be happy. She said "i heard someday ill barely remember that i ever knew my first husband ..." " i'm not looking forward to this day but i wont turn my back on it " and than after that she say " the manual often stated, its my future" i think she was finally brainwashed into the way the case managers thought that they shouldn't grieve and although she still missed her husband she learned to let him go and move forward. I think the window friend symbolized the husband where she imagined him being there as if she would have died. She didn't rememeber the way her window friend looked like because she only imagined her husband standing there.

"the Big Cat" the ending of the book seemed to end the way it started in her family's house with them snoring but this time his mind screen changed to something more extreme where he imagined himself being a prey of the big cat. It kind of hard to understand whether he was regretful about his decision of getting back with his wife, or if he was happy about his decision. he said "Althouhg Elida nad i made Valery happy, and id thought i was contented with Elida" but than at the end he says " she has swallowed my heart whihc to me is something good.

Both stories left me hanging.

Both stories left me hanging.  I wanted "moving on" and "the Big Cat" to end on a clearly "happily ever after".

Moving on took our narrator at a rough time in her life, barely grieving the loss of her husband, ripped her out of her home, her life and her right to control her own destiny and force her to get married to someone who chose her.

I wanted "the Big Cat" to be very clear that after all of the roller coaster of choices made he was happy.  The end left me in a "you're damned if you do, damned if you don't" kind of vibe.  He was 50% miserable in his snoring marriage.   When they moved and relocated in for the benefit of their daughter he was even more miserable but I think she ended the marriage, not him.

He remarry's.  Even though the new wife is "different" and most importantly doesn't snore, he is still 50% miserable.  I guess she was only his "transitional marriage".  He was comfortable in a relationship and not necessarily "bad" at being a husband... but that was not enough to be happy.  At least not more than 50% happy.

Familiar and comfortable, I understand why he went back to his family but that didn't make it the best choice for him.  After all of the back and forth of two disruptive life altering divorces,

 I would've liked him being at least 80% happy.

Conclusion for Moving On leaves the readers with the impression that the man that choose her has some good qualities, he is forgiving, caring, and is ready to call her his new wife. It is stated that she isn’t ready to move on but was told that someday she will barely remember her first husband. The conclusion also makes us feel pity for her as she isn’t given a grieving period and is unsure when she will ever forget about him. I feel pity for her.

The Big Cat

Whoa its good to see that they made up with each other, however he stills has nightmares about his past and her snoring. The ending is confusing for me……

Valery parts helped the main characters to have a connection that eventually led to them getting back together.

Laurene was added in to cause conflict, it was good to have some drama. 

life lives on

          In the story Moving On, we end on the the note of hope and imagination. 

I'm sure that the narrator is nameless and the only thing we have to go on is that a person who had replaced her at the window bedroom has a name that is similar to her's.  In that case, the widow at the end is left with a husband that is okay with her transitioning into a women who "his wife" and leaving her old marriage in the past.  He buys her nice things and tells the waitress that she can order whatever she wants.  It seems like she is going to have a happy ending.  I also picked up that her new husband was wearing the same cologne as her last which means he must be around the same age.  No younger man wears old people musky cologne.     

On Moving On and the Big Cat

The conclusion in "Moving On" was apt at making the narrator hopeful for the future. It was a release of pain a release of the fears that she had while grieving her husband. The ability to have the narrator delve deep into her mind on the thoughts of moving on from her first husband all the while on a journey to cleanse her body and mind of the death of an important art of her life. The ending doesn't wrap the story in a neat little bow but it does allow the reader a jumping point for the development of the character of the narrator. This ability to take something so severe as losing a loved one then trying to forget them into obscurity is played very well in the story. It begins with the loss of her "window friend" the man that became a replacement for her husband. The narrator is made to move on from her husband forcefully until she herself forces the development of moving on from her husband. It starts with the letter of love, of apology towards her husband that begins to set the conclusion. Step by step the narrator deals with the transformation from grieving widow to a prospect for a marriage. At the diner meet up with the new husband Charlie the wave of regret comes up by the narrator mentioning that kids was something on the first husbands mind. She apologizes for breaking the rules. This slip up reminds the narrator that the difference of how she sees her husband and how she should see him. About the transformation from a festering wound that will never be forgotten to the mere passing, platonic recollection that she one day imagines her first dead husband is going to be.

In the conclusion of "Big Cat" we see the integration of the narrator towards the family that he let behind. This uneasiness that the narrator feels towards Elida's family. How the family takes him in because he is still Valery's father. It is a feeling of violence towards his image of a perfect family. In the end he is no longer seen as an innocent bystander of the snoring of the family he is a target. He can never feel comfortable again because he has attached himself permanently towards Elida.

I recently began to view an interesting movie called Howl, with Jon Hamm.  The movie is about a fiction writer being challenged in the court. It is a little ambiguous as it begins but soon it becomes evident that it was important to persuade the court that the work was significant.  Interesting to view, if you have some time.

Moving On ended just as I ultimately expected it to.  The author set the reader up with the narration of this woman and her life after the death of her husband.  The author led us to believe that there was an empty space in the heart of the narrator.  A space that was once filled with love for her dead husband. The author allowed us to understand her struggles and the obstacles she had to come across to.  From getting over her pain, to learning to become more appealing.  After going through the motions with the character it was only right for the author to allow us the readers to get the happy ending that the woman worked so hard to achieve.  I assumed she lived happy ever after, filling the void in her life with the understanding gentleman who has now become her husband.

The narrator crossed paths with a man from another shelter.   The man filled an emptiness in her heart.  He made her whole, she had a purpose, she was desired, she was attractive, she was human again.  Allowed to feel her jump a beat.  But like her husband, her window friend left her too.  So the man served his purpose, his purpose to let her know that she can love again despite her loss. 

After the last words (Moving On)

 What do you think happens after the last words in these stories?

I think after the last words of this story, the woman eventually does forget about her first husband, she forgets about the man in the window. I think her life becomes a complacent one. One with no curiosity of what could have been with those other men. I think she'd see reminders of each man every now and then but as she puts it "And then the image will disappear and i'll never think of him again." I also believe when that day comes she won't even realize it had. Then another thought pops into my head, what if she sees another woman from the shelter? Will memories flood back? Will the regret of moving on hit her like a ton of bricks? Or will so much time have pasted that the memories will be a whisper? Will the shelter have completely indoctrinated her way of living? I'd like to think that the process at and the time between these events (spent with her new husband) will mix together so much so that even if she tried to figure that out she won't know where to start looking or finish pursuing. A sad future meet with some triumph would be nice. Maybe she'd even try to find out where the man in the window went. Maybe she'd see him. But then again as she said she couldn't even remember his face so I suppose that theory is out in the wind.I also wonder about Charlie, what kind of man is he beyond the diner, beyond the first impression.

In the story the Big Cat, the ending to me was so closely perfect to the true emotions of what people are feeling in relationships.  Regardless of what someone is verbally saying to another it many times does not reflect what he or she is sincerely feeling.  After he begins to thoroughly digest what he perceives are his wife's feelings of him based on the compilation of the short acting clips that she assembled for him, his mind deciphers what he interprets to be her more accurate opinion of him.  While he rested and or slept the deciphering of his wife's opinion was very distasteful and he naturally felt that he was inadequate and simply something so insignificant that she could easily dismantle him emotionally.  

The Big Cat response

This story took an unexpected turn. I expected for Elida and the narrator to live happily ever after. After all they've been through it only seemed right. Either that or one of them would be killed off for a dramatic ending. But for the narrator to come to the realization that his beloved wife felt differently about him and had a sort of darkness about herself was interesting. You can almost feel scared for him. It was like discovering that your husband or wife was a spy or an ax murderer. I believe that he truly loved Elida and only married Laurene out of loneliness and boredom. It doesn't seem like Elida loved him as much, even the fact that she pushed him to get money out of his divorce with Laurene seemed like she didn't really want to be with him just because she loved him. It was an sad ending because now he is basically stuck with someone who doesn't feel the same way he feels for them.

The Big Cat

The Big Cat

It is unbelievably distracting how this story is unraveling itself and how into it I am, how emotionally connected I can feel what the couple(s) is/are going through and then it's interrupted by a detailed description of a condominium or of a restaurant and its location.  

Go ahead, fine tell the story but what was the point of that? Telling the story or distracting me from it like a commercial?  I wanted to know what was going to happen next! Don't waste my time telling me silly things, LOL. 

On a serious note how do you know when you have selected the right partner even after 10 or 20 years? You find somebody you connect with them you have similar likes and dislikes or ethic values systems and you think they're right and you find somebody who's different Sudley think they're better… But are they?

This story did have more humor than the others. I did laugh out loud.  

Meow

Moving On & The Big Cat

Some of you have started to do some good responses to these two stories. Just a reminder: We're not so much interested in summaries of the stories. We'll all read the stories so that's not too helpful. What we're more interested in is what the stories do, what they imply, how successful they are at creating a problem and then resolving that problem, how well they create characters who live and breathe and make us believe in this.

One thing I'm really interested in: We focused on introductions last week. How about discussing conclusions this week? How successful are these two stories at wrapping things up? One of the signs of a satisfying movie is that we continue to imagine the characters living and breathing after the credits begin to roll, that we're still thinking about them as we leave the theater and look for our car or catch the train. What do you think happens after the last words in these stories?

I'd also like you to think about how peripheral characters work in these stories to help us understand the main characters--or to complicate them. What purpose do Valery or Laurene serve in "The Big Cat"? What purpose does the "window friend" or the dead husband serve in "Moving On"?

Moving On

This is past even story.This woman after her husband pass away.
She can not move on with her new life.
She love him so much that was almost impossible for her to begin a new relationship.

The Big Cat

The Big Cat

First, narrator explained why he had to have divorced. Narrator ex-wife name is Elida.  She has snores problem. Her family all snored. Elida’s three sisters and their bombproof husbands loved to gather at her parent’s house. Every night sounds were different. Helplessly cognizant, he formed mental scenarios while drifting in and out of sleep. Ambient, earplugs, two pillows over his head-nothing could shut the noise out. Later, after that Elida and he had divorced. Valery, she is their daughter, wistfully recalled that moment at the first time she’d realized how alive with sound the night was-the snored from the women in the family. Valery asked her mother at what age she’d begun to snore, and asked him if that was reason her mother and father had split up, Valery was worried for her own future. Narrator said that snoring had had nothing to do with the divorce. But he had adored Elida.

Narrator and his ex-wife, they work together in the movie industry continuously. He produced film, TV Episodes, commercials. But Elida loved the minuscule: the hundreds of tiny decisions that together produce great scenes. This is Elida’s new vocation, planning corporate events.

For the couple of months after leaving Elida, he had married too quickly because Laurene slept like a drunken kitten. Laurene Schotts was the daughter of the owner of successful sporting goods chain. She is  also a lover of theater arts. Laurene was blond, social- generous, and loved to barbecue. But Elida was dark, wayward, introverted, frugal, and vegetarian.

After the divorce, Elida and he met once a month to discuss for Velery, even when it hurt to see each other. He and Elida next meeting was set up by e-mail. When entered a restaurant, then put a tissue to her eyes. She had been crying a event. Valery had started snoring. Her boyfriend had left her. Valery was refusing to believe that her mother’s snoring hadn’t precipitated her parent divorce. He regretted their divorce. They get back together. Valery had left for college, Valery dropped her suitcase inside the door, she was astonished to see her parents. Valery screamed when she saw the not tucked covers bed, the scattered pillows. They all started crying, and for a while felt miserable. He decided leave Laurene  Schotts. Narrator and Elida would remarry. They made Valery happy, and he was contented with Elida, he knew now, the nature of her true feelings for him.  He described Elida.s snarls had calmed to the loud, gurgling purr of big cat digesting pray meat. Elida’s body had not been satiated on mine, that she wasn’t purring because she‘d swallowed his heart.           

Most of Americans do divorce very easily. Asian inherited from the Confucian ancestors have been reluctant to divorce in order not to break their family, so they try to be patient. For example, after marriage, they have their children, then divorced, they might destroy their whole life. First they give to their children deep inflictions.

MOVING ON

This story narrator described past event first.  After her husband’s pass away, she could not live normal life. Only few month before illness swept him into his bed. Suddenly her husband died, and the feeling of detachment brings mental shock. This “Moving On” title explain whole story. She could not do anything without her husband. After that the Placement Team orders her to pack bags of essentials and left home. They take the keys to her house and her car. The money will go into her dowry.  Between her husband and her did not have child. She was lucky they didn’t. Because burdened women are more difficult to place. There is black market for left behind women, most often widowed. But rarely irreconcilable differences can land one in a shelter. A men’s shelter is across the road. Her father ended up in one of these shelters in Florida. A wealthy woman who had her career first chose him. She wanted to mate. She and her father were same mental problems. In her first “moving On for Widows” they are given a manual of helpful exercises and visualizations. The grief-stricken spend more time that shelter. Years in some cases. Guards sit in booths and observe. The fences are topped with barbed the inside border and looked through the chain. They have to keep strict rule, and fallowed their instruction. Some women always try to escape that shelter. But she is too domestic for that kind of thing.   Narrator explained how she agony her real life and her husband’s phantasm.

After eight month, she is chosen. She met her new husband. His name is Charlie. She is his second wife, she would like kids, new husband said “it is natural fight?” and she can find his charming. She is not ready for this marriage. But she decided she will never think of her first husband again.

This is very sad story. Husband and wife live together, one day, one of them pass a away, and left one have same as her agony. This is the biggest sadness than anything else mostly.      

 

 

                

Moving on

Since the beginning of the story, I was kind of wondering if someone was managing her She said " They let me tend to my husbands burial." However, on the next couple of pages, she attends the "Moving on" Seminars, these seminars seem to be trying to erase the memory of either a husband or a relative from whoever decides to attend this seminar. During the "Moving on for widows seminar" they were asked to create another scenario in there head. In my opinion, I don't think trying to erase the memory of her husband is going to help her in anyway shape or form. I think it will just make it harder for her to move on. When someone passes away, I think its easier for someone to remember the happy times than to just forget their existance all together.

The Big Cat

I love this story, the beginning caught my attention and I knew it was going to be a good read, when the daughter asked her father if it was the snoring that caused the divorced he replied no, but as I read along, it seemed obvious to me that he longed for a good night's rest and her snoring was a BIG factor in the divorce. He was still in love with her, hence the affair which led to them getting back together.
I like how the story was narrated.

Moving On 

From the very beginning the readers become aware that this women is being ruled "they let me tend to my husband's burial" Seems as soon as he dies, she becomes managed by a team and there is nothing she can do about it. The place she is taken and the description I got, reminds me of jail. Very interesting to find out the type of classes being given at this facility; body bounce back from pregnancy, feminine -assertiveness, conceiving class and more, there were strict guidelines to follow. No wonder women attempted to escaped all the time. Admist the grieving for this women it was nice to see her "bubble" whenever the man from across the street saw her. I wished they would of been able to be together. At least they got to play bingo together. 

Was it the norm to be removed from your home once divorced or the lost of a spouse or was it something people had to be signed up to?

 After 8th months she was chosen, hope they're good for each other 

"Moving On'' by Tim House

The story gave me a thought the main character is living in the past not moving on. Either she is living in a fantasy world with memories of her late husband such as smelling his clothes, cooking dinner for two. Maybe also she her new husband Charlie is a rebound for her late husband and in her mind is still in love with her old one. Honestly i can stay this new marriage is not going to work and doom to failure. My question is why cant she move on and be happy that a man has interest in her.

Moving On

 I hope this woman finds happiness with her new husband and he with her.   Unfortunately, I don't know if it's going to be possible. She's grieving or her grieving is on hold… She never got the opportunity to actually grieve the loss of her husband. In addition to losing her husband she was "forced to leave her home" which is completely insane.   I am disappointed that her "friend from the window" that was waving to her didn't get together with her in anyway. I wish they would've had the opportunity to get to know each other.

Reaction to The Big Cat

I thought Louise Erdrich's The Big Cat story was intense. It bothers me in one of the parts where the character describes his ex wife as something dark and negative. That means that he lost love for her and no matter how much he says that they divorced for many other reasons, I really feel that he divorced her because of the way she snored. And it bothers me more knowing that he was going back with his ex wife while still regretting leaving his current wife. That is some uncomfortable situation for someone to live in. I really liked how the author connected the daughter's situation with her parent's divorce. It really makes me feel that the divorce was really a purpose for the divorce and it links a connection to the daughter's very first loud snore because of her first boyfriend that left her.

Short stories vs Flash fictions

I am so glad that we have moved on to "The Best American Short Stories" by T.C Boyle. I truly enjoy to read a good fiction that has realism in it and doesnt make me wonder what I just read. It's way easier to focus and stay entertained by these longer stories like Kavith and Mustapha and Thunderstruck. The stories both unveiled slowly and I found myself consumed by the plots and characters.

Response to Moving On

I read moving on and I thought it was a pretty great story. It sounded pretty simple to follow through which I liked. Everyone has different preferences but I happen to not like stories that sound quite depressing even though Diane Cook didn't really want to make it sound like that. She clearly indicates the character's feeling towards her husband's death. The character has mentioned that it was hard for her to move on but did not show emotions what so ever. So basically the author restricted the character from showing much emotions, in my opinion because she was forced not to for the sake of her wellbeing.

"The Third Rail Stillborn" - Pamela

"The Third Rail Stillborn" - Pamela
inspired by
"Reasons for Elevators" - Drager Lindsey


The redefining and in some ways more clarifying revision almost sequel-like version of


"Reason for Elevators"...


This take is by Pamela from the point of view of a surviving twin.  A flesh and blood human being whose survival is cause for harsh anxiety both for a mother and her innocent surviving living child.


The mother may have blamed the living twin for having to go full term as a "living coffin".  Resenting her survival, her existence. 


A mother's mourning and grieving is not negotiable.  Her pain and grief immeasurable.  For this, a mother should receive whatever she needs.  Whatever is requested by her be it space, counseling, moving to a new home, should be considered reasonable...


...but I am sure, not without consequence.   


The secondary consequence here though is survivor who is not accepted as good enough to draw the same amount of love as a stillborn receives grief. 


An unfortunate secondary tragedy in this "sequal-like" adaptation of "Reason for Elevators"...


...but NOT to be considered a secondary story!


Well written Pamela!

Moving On

Moving On was a great piece.  It made me think when you are married and truly in love with your spouse, do you have love reserved, just in case?  

This woman seemed to have given her all to her husband while they were married.  When he died she was a wreck.  Not wanting anything more than to grieve for her lost.  She found relief through the attention of another man.  She entertained that man until she was caught by her shelter guards.  Eventually she was choosen.  I wonder what that relationship will be like.  It starts off with her still remembering her life from her first marriage.  Will she discover a reserved love for her new husband? Will she continue to morn her loss?

I wonder...

Thunderstruck

Thunderstruck


This story gave me hope, stole it from me, gave it back and then yanked the hope away again. 


When the family is on vacation in a slightly less then four star accommodation, it isn't important.  What is important is that they are together.  Things seem fine for a while.  Near the end of the story we find out that the old American riff raff ways were happening (ie sneaking out) but we don't know for how long. 


After the accident, there was the hope of a father that was so strong that I felt it too.  I did not see this as false hope.  I believed it to be exactly what a father should be thinking and feeling.  I do not have children of my own but if I did or if someday I do, I hope to have the kind of strength necessary to feel such relentless HOPE. 


Unfortunately, near the end I had a split feeling.  I wanted to continue to hold on to the father's responsibility as well as his natural loving instinct of HOPE.  I also started to listen to the words coming from the mother, as possibly true.  That the situation would not change.  This was at first, very enraging to me.  These words are NOT to be spoken from a mother.  I was also appalled that this negativity appeared to be coming out in front of a patient, your F'n Daughter, who needs HOPE.

Kavitha and Mustafa

The settings were so well described that I could see them as if I were there.  I could imagine her wedding day.  Her day to day numbness going through a loveless marriage.  Being on the train.  Kavitha being so in the moment that you knew that she was right about the train about to be taken hostage. 


The emotional roller coaster that this woman (Kavitha) was on was also so well described that I was there with her/them.  Her feeling no love. The fears of the violations that were about to occur to them.  The vulnerability that they all must have felt. Will they make it out alive?  Will the women be raped?


Her ability to basically "map out" a complete plan for her escape.  The way she and Mustafa (a kid with the maturity of an adult) were able to non-verbally communicate "telepathically" I think.  LOL


I have to say that this was not the ending I expected.  I can't believe that her plan worked!!!
On instinct alone Kavitha and Mustafa worked together.  Without hesitation.


Shocking that she left her husband behind without even looking back.


She saved herself in more ways then one.

Beautiful out today

How is it near you?

Short Fiction

“We have such sights to show you”, the voices in his head shout repeatedly. Tommy has fallen into his own world and cannot distinguish reality from fantasy anymore. The drug use has grown to gargantuan proportions and anyone who once considered him a friend has now abandoned him. He no longer exists on this earth in their eyes. No family or friends. Instead, he is only held up by the puppet strings of the heroin he obeys like a slave would his master. The voices beg him to take more and more. “You need this Tommy. You need to keep feeding us. No person can ever love you like we do. Take more and don’t stop.

            A car pulls up outside around Tommy’s corner. A man dressed in black steps out of an old beat up station wagon. He blends in with the night and looks like an apparition instead of living being. Back inside the apartment, Tommy momentarily snaps out of his high when loud thumps shake his door. In his state, it feels more like an earthquake than a visitor at the door. Before Tommy can even get on his feet, the door bursts open and the apparition from outside who happens to be a tall intimidating man with piercings in his nose and a long beard, points a gun at Tommy, who didn’t pay his debt.

-Opening quote taken from "Hellraiser". 

Kavitha and Mustapha: The opening

Some observations:

The opening makes us wonder about who Mustafa is.

It tells us that in Pakistan at this time (now? we don't know), it is not uncommon for bandits to stop trains and rob the passengers. We learn that sometimes the passengers are killed (set on fire). Sometimes the men are taken off (to be enlisted in fighting for some cause? to be executed?). One of the passengers is killed (probably) and we worry that the rest will be killed too. Tension/suspense has begun.

We learn that Kavitha is probably no longer in love w/ her husband (or at least the passion has cooled).

The leader seems ruthless (his voice grows fangs--an awesome image!)

Kavitha and Mustafa

The opening of Kavitha and Mustafa reminds me of a opening to a movie. Sounds of people moving around, Sights of the indian border on the pakistani side for the setting. the two main characters introducing the action or situation.  my guess is that the beginning of this story is not in chronological
order but mixed around. reminds of the german movie lola run lola.

Kavitha and Mustafa

The beginning of this piece is a back story of what's to come.  The woman is describing her thoughts on her marriage and the knowledge that she had of the incident that was about to occur.  Kavitha describes the people that are on the train basically leading the reader to conclude that it's regular everyday people being affected.

Response to "Kavitha and Mustapha"

   This opening is cold in it's tone. It feels like a life a death situation from the first few paragraph, the tenseness in the air as they all wait in this tight space. You can feel everyone's worry as they all seem to know their fates before the readers have time to catch up. It sends the heart into somewhat of a tailspin. You feel bad at how complacent some are. It feels routine. It feels like they have to go through this every week. Like you just have to pray that your train won't be next. That you'll be spared, and not made an example of. 

   However, what gets me caught off guard was the Kavitha's concern of who's going to die first. Mostly because it caught me off guard. Hoping that her husband would be the one to die, calling him dull, wondering if he was violent like the men that were coming aboard the train would that bring a spark into their marriage, an energy into his eye. It's through these parts in the story that you see that this marriage must be one-sided, and at this point, wonder if there's any love at all. Then again I wouldn't expect people to fall in love immediately in an arranged marriage you at least get to find some good qualities in the person you marry, right? The fact that her friends say "Just be happy he doesn't beat you." and that incites her to positively fantasize about that quality being added to her husband's personality, makes me want to call her a masochist.

Kavitha and Mustafa

The opening has alot going on, why did the train stop and the ladies were told the hide their jewelry in their shoes. Kavitha was eyeing man, shows that she is not content with Vinod. Why were they asking the men to leave? I wonder if Kavitha would eventually leave Vinod, it isnt very common for Asian women to do that, but i have a feeling that she might. There were four of them, and a leader. The weeping man knew he was going to be kicked off the train, and the leader made fun of him.

kavitha and mustafa response

       

      Kavitha and Mustafa Intro Response:

          This introduction is a great build up for the for the rest of the story.  It definitely draws me in         and I can visualize the scene as if I had seen this in a popular movie.  Especially the description           and comparison of the room.  The rusty metal rails, the way the man held the ax.  The struggle for       life and the telling of desperation can be an instant eye catcher for me.  This Introduction unlike the title screams horror movie but with as much horror as there is in the beginning I can only guess that a hero will submerge toward the middle or soon

Kavitha and Mustafa

This introduction is very captivating I haven't read the full story but I'm interested in reading more to see how it played out. Its very interesting how they describe everything such as how they described the people and the whole train, its almost like i can visualize it you almost feel like your there. I can imagine how each person looks by the description that was given. also the main characters demeanor and attitude is very easy to tell how each will interact with the passengers. the way kavitha described her husband was very detailed and how emotionless she is towards him leads me to believe there may be a twist towards the ending...........

Reaction to Kavitha and Mustafa

I'm guessing that Kavitha and Mustafa are married couples since it was mentioned in the story that they were married for ten years. Kavitha said that she would suffer if Mustafa would be the first person to die in their relationship. But it's understandable if deep inside she actually does not care if he does die. Even though her family set her up in this relationship, I think it's very dumb for her to ...

Kavitha and Mustafa

After being married for a period of time as long as ten years you get to know that person well.   During this time you also have the opportunity to get to know yourself.  You get used to being in the relationship.  Whether in love or not, you become co-dependent on your partner.  In some cases, it may even be possible to not like the person who you should theoretically be partners with because you love them.

Nivod and Kavitha are in a way, already looking for an out.  As if divorce is not an option for them. They are discussing of one of them dying.  Imagining who will die first?  What will the other do
if their partner does die and leaves them alone?

Some fantasizing, visualizing and imagery that can lead to drastic solutions to get away from each other in a more finite solution of murder.

We've all seen the horror movies.  We know the character with the machete is usually will not be as friendly...

Kavita and mustafa

In this story i see a group of people on a train, and the train seems to have stops where "bad guys" come in to steal jewels or just harass the people on it. I think Kavita does not love her husband but is used to him where she says hes boring and has dull eyes. ..

Kavitha and Mustafa

 In the story Kavitha and Mustafa, I think the first couple of sentences set the tone for the rest of the story. Also, it gives the reader a sense of the environment, and setting. "He stepped inside, holding a machete by his side, by the handle, swinging it like a spray of flowers." The details in the first couple of paragraphs of this story, gives the reader a very strong image in there head. I haven't read the entire story, but as a reader it makes me want to read more. The vivid details, and the way the author sets the tone for the entire story is very captivating as a reader. The author used the introduction as an attention getting opening, for me as a reader after reading only the first couple of paragraphs I already want to keep going until the end. As a writer, I find that its important for the first couple of sentences and paragraphs to grab the readers attention. I think that if you can't grab the readers attention in the first couple of sentences than the reader won't have the willpower to keep on reading until the end.

Kavitha and Mustafa

The beginning of the story created a very curious feeling from me. Having me ask questions about why would the train stop? From the short reading of the opening of the story, it introduces characters that are going to make an impact to the main characters lives. These characters were the train robbers. They created a new dynamic for a change to happen between the characters as the series of events are leading on.

The section where the writer introduces Kavitha was peculiar because you're learning her background story involving her culture and her marriage. The last sentence of that section "but she secretly wondered if perhaps that is what it would take to bring his gaze to life: violence" could possibly be a foreshadow of something that will happen later in the story as the set of robbers continues to interact with Kavitha and the rest of the characters in the story. They specifically talk about how dull Kavitha's husband is and how she finds that this situation can be exciting enough to be entertained by. Kavitha talks about how she can move on with her life if something were to happen to her husband.

I feel that there will be a huge character development after the train robbery towards Kavitha. 

Remarks of the intro for Katvitha and Mustafa

The tension build slowly in the story of Katvitha and Mustafa. From the beginning the stop is made with little fanfare the items collected in the passengers shoes. While the range of emotions ranges from calm to desperate weeping the situation is just the same it goes from weary traveling to a moment of danger that slowly builds like the heat that rises from the overcrowded berth. It sets up the story into a tale with a sense of danger. Here are innocent people that have no ill towards anybody coming towards a wall of danger with a man with a machete and a gang of men with rods of metal.

The sense of danger is accomplished by flashbacks towards the life of the woman before the train hijacking. With the notion that if she lived instead of Vinod, her husband that she would survive because the marriage was boring.

The author sets up future parts of the story in the introduction by establishing the relationship between the passenger. The couple with the mother of the husband. The father and son and Katvitha and her husband Vinod. This dynamic between the passengers raises the tension because the bonds that the passengers share speak towards their reaction to the events that are happening. The stage is set from the beginning as a method of who is being taken away and who gets to survive. In the beginning Katvitha as the narrator notes that the has room for 8 not the 13 people that are currently on board the berth and that the doors are being shut off from each other that established the scene as one where the people are slowly going to be either switched or taken off the berth.

The introspection that she gives towards Vinod's eyes is also an introspection of what is about to occur and the reaction that each of the passenger is going to have towards the end of the story. That Violence in its pure form takes a person and transforms them into either a survivor or a victim. It leads the reader into thinking how far are the bandits going to go before they leave. How much pain and suffering are the passengers going to suffer before the release into the normal world or is their last memory a train burning in between stops.

Kavitha and Mustafa


The story begin with a train ride that is not safe. The train is going to a destiny but the passangers do not know if they can have a good final destiny. They are traveling thru dangerous roads due to
 violent country frontiers in the middle East.

Response to Kavitha and Mustapha

The opening of this story was very descriptive as a good story opening should be. You can start to feel excited and anxious as soon as the author begins to describe what Kavitha was thinking after the train stopped in the middle of nowhere. Right away you understand that trouble is near and that Kavitha knows this as well. Shortly after the narrator decribes one of the men from the group of four who have hijacked the train and entered the berth where Kavitha was with her husband and a few other people. The narrator begins to slowly introduce us to the strangers sitting in the berth with Kavitha and the first thing that I thought was "I wonder which one is Mustapha". At first I was hoping that one of the bandits was Mustapha and that he would somehow rescue Kavitha from her boring marriage and take her away to a life full of adventure and risks. I'm very happy with the way the story ended either way but I really enjoyed using my imagination to wonder what part each character had in this story.

Kavitha and Mustafa- Intro Reaction

The opening scene in Kavitha and Mustafa doesn't pull any punches, which I love. It really puts the reader in the action right away and makes a bigger impact that way. While reading, I felt the fear of the passengers and felt a sense of anxiety when the bandits walked in the train. It really sets the pace and has me wondering what will happen to the passengers and if anyone will die. If this were to happen in real life, there would be no build up or storytelling leading up to terrorists walking on a train. From a passenger's perspective, these things just happen out of nowhere and that is how the story starts. It just happens. It gives that sense of shock and fear as if the reader is on that train.

The opening of Kavitha and Mustafa starts out in quite a frightening situation.  It opens up in full action and my expectation of a more continued dangerous situation continuing. It is made evident that there is villains and others that become the prey of them.  The expectation of danger was known previously to the people on the train of their travels.  They had been aware of the probability or possibility of trouble along their way to their destination.  They had previously known possible ways to avert the stealing of their possessions.  They had also heard some of the outcomes of the more dire situations from previous travelers.

Public Fiction Project

Public Fiction Project

Hey all:

To meet this requirement, you can go to a fiction reading. Here are some listings:

http://www.bookforum.com/events/

And check out the Center for Fiction in Midtown:

http://www.centerforfiction.org/

They have frequent readings and even a literary magazine that you can submit to.

If you'd rather submit your fiction to a publication, I'd suggest Newpages.com:

http://www.newpages.com/magazines/literary-magazines

or Poets &Writers:

http://www.pw.org/literary_magazines

Nowadays, many mags will allow you to submit your stories via the internet. We'll talk more about submitting your fiction, and I'd be happy to speak one-on-one w/ you about this too.

"Thunderstruck" & "Kavitha and Mustapha"

As you read and respond to the two stories from Best American Short Stories, perhaps we should start out by discussing what longer stories can do that flash fictions can't (or vice versa). And then, some other things to think about:

In "Thunderstruck," why are there two sections? How are I and II related to each other? How are they different? Both stories are pretty bleak. What keeps them from being just depressing? Do you find hope in both/either story? Kavitha and Mustapha are juxtaposed in the second story and Wes and Laura are juxtaposed in the first one. How are these strategies different, how similar?

Bad boys reflection

Bad boys by Zack Bean. I love how the bad boys find a thrill in different. Like the coins they were something to them. The guy at the store wouldn't take them but it didn't matter , the coins were a peace of art nobody else had coins like this. No two coins looked the same. They Find the thrill in this fast pace life, nobody has to tell them what else the bad boys do because there already ahead of the game. "Through the river of our mothers tears that we swam across to get to this place were we sit, writing letters to sons we've never met saying listen save your pennies,  save your nickels, stay away from trains even though we know it's already to late. Almost kind of ties with the story "Let's Say" how parents can try but sometimes there kids can take on there own path. What I really liked was how the author conveyed this adrenaline and thrill of the bad boys fast life. There hooked and it almost feels like you can't blame them. 

Let's say reflection

Let's say by Julia Strayer

I found this story pretty deep and so real, I felt like I was going through a drama from start to finish. Also the way the author would change the scene and setting of the story. Let's say I'm being robbed , and the title "let's say" it gives this story a sort of playful way around reality. Also the writing itself. It's like when someone makes up a scenario asking for advice or telling a story using someone else. (Advice from a parent let's say I had a friend who.. When the friend is them )As a writer we do it all the time using our characters for our personal experiences. So the narratator sets up this whole story that's real, but it's brought across as if it's just a scenario occurring. The narratator holds onto her daughter in her dying moments but doesn't want her to grow so old. The imagery of the mover pushing her child so young and innocent on the swing. With each swing she gets older and older. Then the mother is shot by the young robber. A connection is made in the story of both mothers the one who is shot does not want her daughter to grow old loving the innocence of her child, I love how she she describes it like when her backpack was still bigger then her. "I'm thinking the same thoughts the twitchy kids mother is thinking about her son when he was little, with long dark eyelashes that made the girls follow after him, and she still had hope. And we both play the what if game" I feel such similarity between the four characters presented in the story. I find them all so innocent realizing as mothers they can only raise there kids to a certain point, also questioning where have they gone wrong. Yet the story ends with the now which is the only place what if doesn't exist...Wether the mother turns him in or let's him continue his cycle , be a mother and wash him up.

Small Fictions

I've never thought i could read small stories and find so much dept int them, i found this collection of stories to be very interesting and honestly i wouldn't have read them on my own. i enjoyed many of the stories such as reasons for elevators, chicken dance, marriage and the third time my father tried to kill me. The stories that i found myself enjoying were very confusing and deep it made me thing between the lines and not just read the words off the paper but truly try to understand the authors thoughts and vision for the stories. I even found myself give alternate endings our other ideas as to what the story might truly be about. To me honestly small fictions open up your imagination and even allow you to become better writers.

Reflections on Small Fictions

I never thought I would enjoy reading small fictions the way I did after finally finishing the BSM. I was under a very small impression that it would make any difference to how I read fiction these days. Until I started to realize there was a lot of things I was learning by these small one to maybe three pages of fiction. Over the years I started to have such short attention spans to read an actual fiction novel because it all always started so slow to get to something worth reading. Each fiction story had me wanting to know more about what is supposed to happen to the characters or themselves. I found that I started knowing more about myself by whatever conclusions I thought was happening. Even when we was in class discussing about these stories, you kind of get to see what kind of thought process my classmates had. The qualities I've noticed with this genre were that almost all the fictions had a realistic characteristics about them. Most of the stories consisted of things that can actually occur in places, with people or animals in a believable setting. You as a reader was able to connect with the story very well in more than one various way. The characters seemed like real people with real issues, trying to solve in a very realistic way. I believe because of this quality alone, a lot of us were able to relate so much with the stories that made us draw into it so well. But many of us also we're confused at some parts when the stories would end so abruptly or was written in a very vague manner. This was also very entertaining because it had me agitated and wanting to know more about what is supposed to happen next. Unfortunately, I would never get that kind of closure. Which is okay. The way everything was written just allows me to use my imagination to figure out more ways than none. 

Reflection on flash fictions

There seems to be a sort of informal type of writing when it comes to "flash fictions". Reading a flash fiction is definitely not like reading your average novel. I am not used to this type of literature and even find it a bit confusing. I do have some favorites though. I enjoyed reading "Mama Says", "Before she was a memory", and " the third time my father tried to kill me". These stories seemed to have purpose or at least  purpose that I can understand. Other stories like "Scarlet fever" were hard to understand and left me wanting to know more. I believe that flash fictions are an acquired taste but will try my best to learn to interpret this type of literary work for this class and in the future.

Small Fiction

The qualities that I've noticed about these genres was that despite how short they were I never knew what to expect. I never knew what was about to happen on the end unless I read the flash fictions all the way through. And sometimes they keep you guessing which I like. I could also think of some clues when there are no conclusions. I would say that flash fictions are very different from other fictions I've read in the past. The majority of fictions would basically have stories of many different things possible, but the stories wouldn't sound out of the ordinary. They sounded normal like a life that anyone else could live. Flash fictions though go to another level. I believe a flash fiction has more behind its story than a regular long fiction story does. There was one flash fiction that caught my attention and that was the fiction "It Will Never Be Deep Enough" by Jane Liddle. First of all I wanted to know more about the main character or the narrator because he was asking questions, but the way it was put in the text was unusual. It had periods instead of question marks. There's this one part where the main character is talking to someone named Garcia and is telling her of someone named Ava. There's this one part where he continues about Ava, saying "Ava doesn't like me. I think she's intimidated by me because guys dig me and I know it" (Butler 53).I can't tell if the narrator is a female and Ava is jealous of her or if Ava doesn't like him because the narrators gay? I really don't know. I like how this flash fiction was all about him or her asking Garcia questions but it was personal questions. Speaking of this I just remembered another two quotes that I felt confused to follow, which was when he asked Garcia "Why do you cheat on her... You like people to see you with her. You get another boost [of ego] by cheating on her" (Butler 52) but then is he talking to Garcia here? Maybe Garcia is lesbian? Maybe if I could try to ask as much questions myself like the narrator is doing, I would come up with some clues. I believe that this flash fiction was definitely something that was experienced by nature by the author because it sounded like it flowed naturally. He didn't seem to be afraid to put these questions so simple. But all the questions were scattered. There was so many of them and not all were related to each other which I liked. Adding bits of his story phrame inbetween some questions made a voice for this flash fiction to come to life.

Thunderstruck

I began reading thunderstruck and instantaneously it grabbed my attention within the first couple of pages. I really think that it grabbed my attention because its so relatable, well at least for me. On page 202, it states "Laura hd hated the way her parents compared her to her brother-Ben was good at math, so there was no point in her trying; Laura was more outgoing, so she had to introduce her brother to friends- but once she had her own children she understood comparison was necessary." This is something that I was able to relate to being the oldest of three siblings. My mom compares my siblings to eachother a lot. Therefore, having written about a topic that is relatable can grab the readers attention and draw them in more.

"Bad Boys"-Reaction

I really liked "Bad Boys". At the beginning, I felt as if it was just an innocent story about a couple of kids getting into trouble, but by the end realized it was more of a warning to younger generations about the dangers of bad behavior. It was a message from a grown man in prison describing how it all escalated from his early years. It shows that a lot of what people become stems from development over the years.

reflections on the flash fictions

Some qualities that I've noticed about flash fictions is that the stories allow the reader to fill in a lot of the subject matter on their own. Using outside information and previous experience the reader bring a more complete story to the front.The medium of short stories allows the reader to bridge the gap between stories with reflection that is deeper because the story is complete by itself yet part of a deeper collection. To immerse into the short stories is to dive deep into the consciousness of the writer. The ability to use the negative space and the words not put into the story and allow the reader to fill in the gaps. All this is shown to be effective because the ability to take a story and remove the fat, the extra stuff and apply only the minimal description to build a structure that is both important and necessary in the flash fictions.
It's different to other types of stories that I have read because the stories range from many topics yet connect just as deeply as a novel. The characters are as deep and as complex as the one's from more expansive universes.
In "Something Overheard" by Yennie Cheung the reader is transported to something beyond the world."On weekends, the neighbor turns up her aerobics DVD, and the walls tremble like a big rig in your blind spot." This line transports the reader into a scene that the reader will remember if its ever happen to them the feeling of having a big rig on top of them without them knowing it and to remember the fear of having the inability to prepare your self to the shock.
Right in the beginning Yennie Cheung established her voice in "the walls of your apartment are as thin as the girl next door." This establishes that both the girl and the wall are an extraordinary characteristic. That both the girl and the wall are immeasurable and defined in the space of the extreme. It defines that the girl and the wall share more than just the size of their width they share the intrusion that they have upon the reader.
It's weirder because it directly addresses the reader and used the 2nd person perspective. It makes it into a personal journey that buffers the feeling of doing something that you shouldn't that is listening to the neighbor because of the the thin walls but also it connects you to this mysterious girl next door that produces the scene of having this connection to the effect that the girl has on the environment rather than the subject. And makes the girl all the more important because the girl is more than just a random person. The girl is a passenger into the world of the unknown.

Permission

 1. The title permission made me wonder what might being asked for permission. My mind immediately went back and I was reminded of the times I had to ask my teacher for permission to do things such as going to the bathroom and getting something from the coat closet. I already thought of this story having a children and teachers and a classroom setting.
2. What confuses me at first is in the first paragraph where the headmistress is speaking I dont know exactly who she is speaking to. Is this a memory ? Or is she speaking to a parent or a child? That I am confused about.
3. What grabs my attention is how clingy the father (who I figure is telling the story) is to his youngest child which is his daughter and how he seems to be more clingy to his son from a distance. I feel that the children are in a sense feeling smothered by their dad but are too young to tell him that they need space, they probably are too young to notice him smothering him.
4. Even when the children are in the pool and he jumped in just to be with them and still clung to them arose in me some feeling of enough is enough already lie let your children breathe and grow, let them scrape their knees and come to you crying. But when the father said he saw his dead so in the pool under his kids who were having fun, I then felt bad for him because he has not let go of his son's death who probably drowned in the pool.When the headmistress asked for him to get out of the pool I felt that his position changed from being an adult to a kid and I felt as if he had a relationship with his this headmistress before maybe when he was younger.        

Permission

This sound like a story of an old woman that had live many years.  She felt like life has many obstacles to affront and learn and that even those things on life hurts  we must  to live with optimist to continuing  learning.

Permission (Journal entry)

The story is very sensor heavy, like while reading it I can imagine practically every sense. My eyes don’t miss a detail.  It almost feels like stage direction with some of its descriptions. The story also feels real in the respect that the main character, our narrator, is a father just living an ordinary day in her life, a field trip day for her kids, being a chaperon. We get to see his mindset, his physical condition (As she mentions how tired she is from poor sleep. I also love that the story is obviously told in the past tense as referenced when the narrator says, “They fussed but they did as I asked. In those years, they still listened to me.” A time period where I’m sure every parent under the sun laments over and while I’m not a parent, I certainly feel for the guy. I feel bad for the guy, during the last third of the story as we see why he jumps in the pool, a tragedy behind the smiles of parents for their other kids.

Permission

Permission
Difficult to keep track of how many people are in this devastating tragedy.  It sounds like they, the family, survived but barely, and not all of them.  Apparently there was a son who passed away.  I think he drowned.  No parent should ever lose a child.  No parents should ever have to bury a child. 

Clearly this family, this father in particular is aware of the pain they the survivors have endured.  The remaining children are kept from the pain.  They are shielded from it by being kept busy.  The children are shuttled to and from school and then from one activity to another.  Away of the family tragedy but knowing it as “normal” the go on with their daily activities never realizing the serious and permanent nature of the impact on their lives…  

permission

Its very hard to understand this story, I'm not sure in what person this story is written. however it looks like this father of two is in possible deep stress where he is analyzing everything even the death of an unborn child or a child that died young. it seems as though hes protective of the two children he has now hes very close to them and does everything for them he takes them to school and he watches and observes them very closely. he does not even want them to take the bus the thought of them leaving his gaze terrifies him, hes a sad man, he also states that "no one my own age spoke to me anymore" which is sad and with that he throws himself into just protecting and raising his kids. he is also tormented by the loss of his child he even sees him in the water while swimming with his kids he sees his dead son in the water and grabs his two children, in the children defense i can sense from the reading that the kids are feeling smothered by their father constant hold on them. the mother on the other hand is very absent from the reading only present in the memory of her husband im guessing thst either she died or they separated due to the loss of thier son or it could be she never got over the loss and is depressed and withdraw completley from the relationship and family.

Permission

     The story started out with a conversation between the narrator and a headmistress. She seemed to be telling him about how one is defined based on how they are able to control their own lives. The beginning of the conversation was confusing because the headmistress told him to imagine what would happen if a dog bit her all over. I also can see in one point in the conversation where the headmistress tells him to just stand back and let his children in bus. The narrator somehow does not want to leave the children alone and then all of a sudden he described the surroundings of the bus, which sounds like a peaceful neighborhood, and one of the houses there seems to be his wife's. Then he starts talking about the feels he gets about his wife and then about the feelings of the past deep within her. And that that something of the past happen to be another son brought up; a son that was...

Permission

story goes into the deeper meaning of letting go of control in Life. the father cant let his kids go, in fear that they might get hurt or "die". The headmistress almost seems like she keeps reminding the father of his actions, and is trying to get him to realize that he cannot control anything. Her quotes in the story are very significant to the message that lies beneath.  "We are defined" she said " and I think you know this, but we are defined by how successfully we trivialize the function of control in our lives." I started to speak, and i looked up to see she had a finger in my face. Through the story it almost seems like this playful game between the dad and the head mistress. Hes always clutching back at her, as if avoiding what she is saying. Almost like she is his teacher throughout the story instead of the kids. Death is surrendering, to the fact that he as no control, he refuses to die....

Permission

After reading Permission, I was sort of confused. This short story I felt was very difficult to understand. I am not 100% sure of what this short story was actually about. I also wasn't exactly sure if this was coming from a Father perspective or a Mothers perspective. When the narrator  says "They put each pile away, and I snapped my daughter into an unappealing one-piece, and I had to ask my son to swimsuit himself, my hands incapable of doing it" I instantly thought that this was the mother talking. However, reading further the narrator stated "I held the kids tight until they pushed me off and swam away and left me there to listen to our dead son with my wife, sitting on her lap down at the bottom, discussing the house together, making plans to move" this seemed to becoming from the fathers perspective. One thing, I did understand from this story was that a son died. I assumed by this line in the short story "My son came over. I saw his feet beneath the surface kicking hard- and then I saw down there, below his kicking feet, his brother." From this line in the short story, I assumed that the son died from a drowning incident and that is most likely why the narrator held the kids tightly before they swam away.

Permission

Permission.... what a heavy flash fiction. It's almost too quick to get emotionally attached but it got to me anyway.   A man who lost both his wife, child and himself due to some tragedy that left them dead.  Still had to find a way to live for his two surviving children.  He became an overbearing and almost crazed.  Adamant about being apart of every inch of their lives.  Too afraid that something may happen and he would lose them as well.  Aware of his pain and suffering the children's headmistress was very passive of his random acts.  She understood that his acts weren't thought out but outburst of his emotions; reactions of his loss.  Although his wife and one of his child were not physically there he keeps them in his every thought.  And it seemed to me that at the end of this piece he was looking for permission from his dead wife and child to move on with his life.

Permission

I love the way the story is written. The description of the dog biting the headmistress was vivid. It is impressive the way the writer described the wife and the never ending "what is inside of her", it was brilliant, I never read anything like it. I find the short sentences interesting. One of my favorite parts is on paragraph three; "stand back and, you know, stand back.
I would have to read this story a few more times to fully comprehend it.

Response to "Diagram by Chirstopher Merkner"

During the beginning of the flash fiction, I honestly thought this was going to be a story about dogs and a character based on curella de'vil. Or a story about a very mean old hag of a headmistress like the principal from Matilda. But as the story continues, I am distraught to find out it involves a father attempting to murder his children? Or was he trying to prevent so? As I try to reread the story, my opinion on it changes to curiosity to confusion.

Maybe the headmistress is just a temporary subconscious that is in the father's head during a time of grief with his dead son?

I am a little confused with this flash fiction and I'm not really a type that enjoys these open ended questions.

Permission

i think the father is traumatized by the lose of his son that he clings onto his two kids to "protect" them. He follows them to school, walks hand in hand in hand with them and he jumps into the pool where his kids are playing and than when they swim away hes there "talking with his dead on and wife" whom i think died as well. And they advise him to move somewhere that he could afford. The headmistress to me is kind of confusing because she could either be a care giver or maybe a girl he is seeing?

response to Permission by Christopher Merkner

The thoughts that surface to the top are about the dealing with the loss of a child and how that changes the perspective of how we look at the world. It is through a different lens something apart from dealing with death. The narrator of the story has to deal with life. And how the inability to let go and accept death is paramount to the story. It's a blending of both despair and confusion that grasp me to the story. Normally one would think of death as a final thought or as a clear cut from the real world but here the narrator brings back the dead son and the absent mother back into the conversation, back into the fold.
It appears to me that everyone in this world knows how to deal with the loss of a son. They know how to survive and it is the lack of surpassing from the father that is examined. To have a man fear the loss of more children, to have him unable to allow his children a moment truly to themselves to explore and to blossom in the real world.
The narrator has a haunting ghost of his dead son so ingrained into his system that he can't even lay a hand on his second son. Or look at his son without seeing his dead son next to him. He envisions a world where his wife and his deceased son talk about plans to move from their house into an apartment and see if moving locations into new destinations can help the family or a least the father move on from the thought of the death of his son.
The narrator doesn't speak, He doesn't make a sound because he is in this world almost dreading that a word will make it real. That reality would cement that his son is dead.