You'll Apologize If You Have To

In this scene Wallace  seems as though he is in some way surrendering to Kim, like just saying fuckit and opening up. He tells Kim the story without making himself a victim. I feel as though he would have brought Molly but given the situation he just wouldn't allow it.( " God, do you know how boring this kind of thing is now?" she said "Do you know how stupid?" Wallace said he did. he was surprised at how much he meant it.) I'ts like were starting to see a transition in Wallace's life in all aspects, from his life you can get the feel.

The conclusion scene : ( she asked him what it was like that line of work. Wallace had to think about it for a second. "Its awful," he wished and then stopped. that wasn't what he meant. what he meant was that it was the best thing he'd ever done with his life, the only thing he could do well, an what was awful was how it made everything else seem so boring and fake. but there wasn't anyway to explain that, so he didn't try. Instead he told her not to listen to him, that he was just coming off a bad fight.) I feel like this relates so much to the story, this is what his life feels like in the text. When there isn't the high of fighting, then he really doesn't know what to do. And off of a bad fight its even worse because a part of him dies. It's a stripping away of this need to always be on the roller coaster, his ego became stripped away from this match. Through this loss the character gets brought into a ground, remember him mentioning through the book about the watch, and how he has never worn it but sure he has it so that he could prove that he has done something. Sometimes we get stripped away from what brought us into doing what we love, when recognition arises and rewards, we can loss ourselves and become self conscious forgetting why we perform whatever brings us joy in the first place. You can see that through the story, how when theirs a shit fight no one would mention it. I remember coming home from baseball games if it wasn't a so called good day, or we didn't win our mouths closed. I related to that aspect constantly checking myself ripping, away from ego attachments relating to my art and performing, but simply for the fact of doing it. The world around him feels dead because of the highs and lows, and the need for other people to always see him a champion.